Category Archives for General Archives

The Silly Basics

The Big Seminar was a huge success, of course. One of those seminal events that will be talked about for some time to come, and used as a reference when talking about how other events compare.

Armand Morin deserves congratulations. I had fun, and I did business there, as planned. It was a success on all fronts — even the “fun” part.

I didn’t talk myself hoarse, but I did smile myself numb — literally felt my jaw start to cramp up. I work alone most of the time, you see. You don’t have to smile so much when there’s no one else in the room — when I do smile during the workday, it’s usually at the dogs. They just wag their tails and go back to sleep.

Seems more efficient, somehow.

Had my hand shaken a lot, too, at the event. Strong grips, weak grips, damp grips, confused soul-shake grips, crushing vices. Why do some guys feel they have to hear bones cracking when greeting someone? I’m a big fan of a nice, brief, firm handshake that skips the “I could crush your phallanges” Tweak Of Doom.

But the handshake is one of those cultural expectations that isn’t taught to anyone anymore — too many folks muddle through them, or try to avoid them, and hope they did the right thing without ever knowing for sure. And yet, so many people (especially in business) place a silly amount of significance on a handshake that you MUST figure out your own style, or start out every meeting awkwardly.

If you are confused, stop fussing. Offer your hand, grip the other person’s offered paw gently but with the purpose of a short, non-threatening squeeze-and-shake, and pull away. Smile and look ’em in the eye. Nothing more needs to be done. If you’re presented with an alternative kind of handshake, take it as a sign that you’ve been identified as cool enough to accept it. If you don’t know the particulars of that shake, find some way to give your gentle but firm squeeze, and pull back, smiling. And say, clearly, how good it is to meet them, or see them again, and get on with the conversation. Never obsess on the awkwardness of any botched shake, or even show evidence that you noticed.

That’s the sign of confidence other people are looking for. A comfort in your own skin, especially when confronted with something unfamiliar or awkward. Take it in stride, stay focused on what’s important — the sharing of recognition and the pressing flesh — and move on.

I say this, because I keep coming across younger people who increasingly are just helpless during what should be a two-second gesture of formality. They don’t know what to do. They’re self-conscious. Or, they insist on performing shake rituals they picked up from music videos, involving fringe culture niches of which they have no connection with whatsoever.

If you aren’t a pimp, don’t try to shake hands like one.

I feel for them. My generation rebelled, loudly and obnoxiously, against anything seen as being too “Establishment” oriented… and the siimple handshake ritual was a casualty. I’m glad most of us have moved past the nonsense of trying to come up with something “different” or more “meaningful” — like the group hug — and have just gone back to a brief but firm grip-‘n’-shake with a smile. Bam, bam, and you’re done and moving on with whatever it is that brought you to this point, standing there grinning expectantly at someone.

There was a great story I read a few years ago, about a guy who took the time to teach some inner city kids how to play chess very, very well. They, in fact, earned an invitation to Washington, D.C., to play in a tournament… something this guy thought the kids would be happy about. But they weren’t. Instead, they acted up, insisted they had no intention of going anywhere, and spewed venom on the very idea that any stupid tournament was a worthwhile thing to be involved with.

It took him a while, but this guy slowly realized that what seemed to be bravado was really just stark fear. These kids had never been outside the city. Never been in an airport, let alone been inside a plane. They didn’t know what was expected of them, didn’t know how to behave, didn’t know the rituals, and were scared… but their code of honor wouldn’t allow them to say so.

So he did some basic desensitizing work, slowly. First, he had them look up D.C. on a map. Showed some videos of both the city… and of people taking plane trips. Eventually, he took them all down to the airport for a tour. Found someone to open up a jet, and let them look around. By the time the trip came up, the kids were not doing anything new anymore — they’d either studied, seen, or been in most of the places they had to get through to arrive at the tournament. Even practiced dressing in a way that made them feel like they belonged, yet still showed a bit of personal style.

So, at the event, they walked in not wearing a jacket and tie for the first time, and they smiled and shook hands like they’d been doing it all their lives.

They acted like they belonged, because the details were no longer a big stupid mystery… but merely a series of silly rituals that had been explained and practiced. No big deal.

They did well at the tournament, too. In effect, they marched in, took their seat at the big damn feast that life offers, and partook, heartily.

Good for them.

And shame on the rest of us for allowing such simple rituals and basic knowledge of details to separate us from each other.

Right now, whole generations are trying to get through life without saying “please” and “thank you”. By not saying these simple phrases, they are seen as rude, and people get offended, and all sorts of stereotypes are reinforced and all sorts of hostility comes bubbling up.

I’m not a culture warrior. I think you should be able to do your thing as you see fit, as long as you don’t harm anyone or harsh my mellow. If you wanna pretend you’re a gangster, go for it. I pretended for years I was some version of a lost, romantic poet/musician rogue, too hip for living in The Man’s world.

I know the drill.

However, when and if you’re ready to join the rest of us, get your basics down. Say please and thanks, and don’t make a big deal about shaking someone’s hand. It’s not a social or political statement. It’s just the details of meet-and-greet and getting to the next stage of whatever it is you’re attempting to accomplish.

You can still be the hero of your own private counter-cultural drama.

Hell, I still am.

In fact, one of my longterm goals is to show that you can be hip, and cool, and have fun… and still participate in the grand game of capitalism (yes, even without being in the music biz).

The worst realization I ever had as a young man was the thought that, as an adult, I had to give up enjoying life.

It was bullshit, but it was also the message most of the adult world was sending out. Gotta get serious. Get a haircut, get a job, get your ass into the mine and start hauling coal. (Sorry — I was channeling Tennessee Ernie Ford there for a second.)

You don’t have to give up your personality, or your lust for life, just because you’ve decided to get after the American Dream. That dream can — and should — be whatever appeals to you. Not what anyone else tells you it should be.

You will know the good ones by their laughter.

Yes, some of us have retained our skills at having fun, even as we go deep into the business world.

Good God, there are so many important things to worry about, other than whether wearing a tie and jacket means you’re “selling out” or not.

Please — stop fighting tradition. It won’t bite you.

And thanks for stopping by.

Stay frosty,

John Carlton
www.marketingrebel.com

So How’s That Working Out For You?

I tell rookies to never, ever assume anything about anything. Ever.

Especially about your target audience. One of the biggest mistakes marketers make is to assume your prospect knows as much as youdo about whatever it is you’re selling.

And it’s almost never true. You’re dealing with your product day in and day out, and you’ve dealt with the details so often, it’s all second-nature to you.

But your prospect isn’t working in your office. Even if he’s in the same business as you, he has other priorities. He may desperately need what you offer… but that doesn’t mean he’s researched you and your product as thoroughly as you might have, in his shoes.

If you assume he understands all the technical jargon and insider terms you’re laying on thick, you stand a good chance of losing him. Even when I’m dealing with rabid markets — like golf or guitar playing or cigar smoking — I use jargon sparingly, for emphasis. Like adding spice for flavor — don’t overdo it.

That’s why it’s important to “translate” everything into plain English in your copy… even if you would swear on a stack of Bibles that “everyone knows what this means”. This is especially true when you’re slinging slang around.

I have to watch the assumption thing, myself. Constantly.

For example, when someone books an hour’s phone consultation with me, I assume they prepare. At least a little, teeny-tiny bit.

My hour’s aren’t cheap, and often it’s tough to squeeze the consultations into my schedule. It’s not like a friendly chat with the guy down the hall. When your hour’s up, it’s up.

And it goes by fast.

So, I’m always baffled when the guy on the other end of the line starts arguing with me about something basic.

Especially the stuff I assume he must know, or he wouldn’t be asking me for advice.

I assume, for example, that he would have at least glanced at the “Kick-Ass Copywriting Secrets” course first. You know, to sort of get an idea of where I’d be coming from.

Silly me.

The last consultation I had started out fine… but five minutes into it, I found myself in a heated argument about whether long copy really works in online ads or not.

I thought, okay… you wanna waste half the call going over one of the very FIRST and most OBVIOUS parts of what I discuss in my materials… and what EVERY top marketer knows, from experience and testing… fine.

Fine.

It’s good practice for me to go over the argument. Again.

Look — just in case you’re one of those guys who looks at top-grossing entrepreneurial sites, and wonders “if people really read all that copy”… stop and think for a second.

We don’t use long copy for our sales pitches because we enjoy slaving over the keyboard.

No, we use it… because that’s what WORKS.

In essence, your copy is your salesman. Face-to-face, he has to cover the entire sales message to make the cash register go ka-ching — cover all the benefits, explain all the features, establish credibility, and make a case for money trading hands, right now while the iron’s hot.

You wouldn’t tell your salesman to only use 100 words, and then clam up, would you? (Go back to the end of the line if you said “why not?”)

Your copy is your sales pitch. It’s long, because great sales pitches are long. You’re asking someone to part with money… and online, they can’t see your product, can’t hold it, can’t smell it… in fact, they have to take your word for everything.

Or rather, your words. And your words must convince, persuade, influence and close the deal… or you don’t make the sale.

That’s why the top marketers all use long copy.

“But,” says this guy on the horn, “There are a lot of people out there who insist that short copy is better.”

Oh, really? Like who?

“Lots of people.”

Nobody who’s making any money, I tell him. Does your competition use long copy?

“Yeah.”

And how are your ads pulling, compared to theirs?

“They’re creaming us.”

Soooooooo… how’s short copy working out for you, then?

That line is a favorite of folksy therapists. Someone explains how they’re sleeping with their brother’s wife, cooking up crank in the bathroom for extra cash, and getting in bar fights as a hobby.

And the therapist sighs and says: So, how’s that working out for you?

Humans are a stubborn bunch. All of us. We all have huge blind spots about certain things we do.

In marketing, it’s pretty simple, though, to know when your beligerence is unjustified. Look at your results.

If your bottom line isn’t what you know it should be… then you’re doing something wrong.

It ain’t working so hot for you.

You cannot argue your way to wealth in the open marketplace.

You gotta make your case, and do a good sales job. Everything else is just pissing in the wind.

Do what works. Get hip, to get rich.

And now, I’m off to Los Angeles to speak at Armand Morin’s excellent Big Seminar. Wish me luck.

And stay frosty.

John Carlton
www.marketingrebel.com

Overlooked Corollary To Operation MoneySuck

You ever feel like life is speeding by?

Like, summer’s gone and you feel robbed because you had so many vague plans that never got addressed. And now fall is almost over, and where the hell did the rest of 2005 go, anyway?

Shrinks will tell you that too much routine chews up your sense of passing time. If you have a series of routines that make each day go smoothly for you, there’s a risk that nothing will happen to make those days memorable. And whole seasons will blow by without a headline or event to remember them by.

There are many theories about the perception of time. When you’re eight, the summer you’re experiencing represents a huge percentage of your life history. When you’re eighty, and you’ve just gone to your 5,000th bar-b-que, the seasons sort of blend together.

As Einstein would say, it’s all relative.

There are lots of ways to slow down fleeting time. Most of them involve getting out of routines and ruts. A week in Italy, for example, can seem to last a month when you pack it full of adventure.

I’m thinking about time as I prepare for flying down to Los Angeles to speak at the Big Seminar. This will be my, oh I don’t know, sixtieth or seventieth seminar gig — I’ve already been a featured speaker at three seminars since June, and I’ve been producing and appearing at similar events for over twenty years.

Still, as it gets close to showtime, I invariably get backed into a time management corner. I know the drill, but the prep, packing and planning for being away never becomes routine — there’s always something new about each gig and the surrounding circumstances.

There are two warring emotions going on: I’ll be doing my first Power Point presentation, which I want to go smoothly… and I’ve been gorging on the autumn weather, because my summer skipped by too fast.

Now, when I discuss Operation MoneySuck, I usually focus on the business side of it — if you’re the guy bringing in the money, then that’s your main job. Don’t get caught up in time-consuming stuff that isn’t bringing in the money — you’re the bottom line of your success, and you need to learn how to delegate, ignore and/or manage problems so they don’t distract you from what needs to be done to make your business work.

However, there’s a corollary to this — another angle that may not be immediately obvious.

It is this: A huge (and mostly overlooked) part of being the go-to guy in your biz is to nurture your head and soul. You’re not a machine, you’re a human being… and you need to feed the soft-tissue parts of your game.

I’m not going into detail about it… but right now my extended family (which includes relatives, friends, colleagues, and dogs) is experiencing an unusual period of crisis and change. I have a long and storied relationship with Trouble and Sorrow… and I can tell you with certainty that it will slow time down for you.

Some people bury themselves in work when things start going awry. If that soothes your wounds, fine… but you must understand that it’s not Operation MoneySuck.

No. Sometimes, in order to be truly successful, you must put your pursuit of opportunity into perspective… and spend more time with the non-money-making parts of your life.

I could fill my day with details of the upcoming seminar, nailing down every nuance of my speech and tailoring things so they’re just right.

Or, I can do what absolutely needs to be done… trust my skills at winging it a little bit (which often provides better overall results anyway)… and spend some quality time with those outside of my business existence who rely on me.

I’m a walker. Most of my experience of the changing seasons comes from long walks, where I soak up the sounds, the air, the smells and the ambience of nature and town and neighborhood. Sometimes, I walk to clear my head and get straight on business stuff. Other times, I walk to purge the stress of impending tragedy.

I’m walking a lot these days. And I’m not thinking about work much, either, as I bolt along. Instead, I’m both marvelling at how great it feels to be alive — even when life is throwing curveballs — and remembering past autumns of bliss and doom.

I’m getting a lot done in the office, even so. I just work a little more focused, and box in my time on any given project. I get it done.

But, for now, staying inside of Operation MoneySuck means tending to my private life more than usual.

Time is moving at a slug’s pace. I don’t wish things were different, because I prefer reality. I still hope for the best outcomes, but I have no illusions that stressing out will change anything.

Sometimes, taking care of business means ignoring business.

Hell, I’m gonna go walk the dog, see if those maples down the block have turned yet. And when I get back, I’m gonna call a friend or two who needs to laugh or vent or cry.

And, if necessary, I’ll just stay up a bit later tonight going over that Power Point one last time…

Stay frosty.

John Carlton
www.marketingrebel.com

The “Go To Guy”, Part 47

I finally got ahold of my pal Halbert, down in Miami, after listening to a busy signal for two days. Hurricane Wilma did a number on the town, and I’ve been worried about him and a number of other friends in the area.

Harlan, John, Dean, Rich… if you read this, drop me an email or call, just to let me know you’re okay, will you?

Unlike the previous two hurricanes that ripped into the continent, there’s not much real news to be found about this one. Just rumors and sound bites, as the easily-bored media move along to other news.

And yet, you can feel that vague sense of dread steadily build across the land.

Most of the country is jittery. (If you’re not nervous, you haven’t been paying attention.) I remember this feeling well — I was in that generation forced to do “Duck and Cover” drills in the third grade during the Cold War. The school assigned us all local houses to go to during a nuclear attack. “Why can’t I just go home?” I asked, naively. “Because the bombs will be here too quickly,” was the patient reply.

Silly little boy. The Russians want us dead.

I’m a history buff. And I can tell you with some certainty that there have been precious few periods without major threats hanging over our collective heads. Huns, plagues, revolutions… natural disasters.

Long list of troubles.

Short list of times when you could really relax.

As a culture, we tend to look at events as isolated spots of unwelcome and unpredictable discomfort. Hurricanes hitting Florida? Who’d have thought it? Earthquakes in California? You’re kidding me. Tornadoes in Kansas? Is that what the cellar is for?

Denial is a basic part of our make-up as humans. Without it, our ancestors would have never strayed from the comfort of the jungle into wetter, snowier and more hostile lands.

In modern times, denial causes a lot of problems, though. Light up another cig, have another affair, write another check that can’t be covered… and maybe worry about it tomorrow.

Right now, everything seems fine. Life’s all about living in the moment, anyway, isn’t it?

This is where many people get confused. Your denial system is there to help you get through emergencies and prolonged crisis. If you keep it turned on all the time, though, it’s a narcotic that will keep you half-asleep.

As one of the masses, being a zombie is a tradition. It has ever been thus, throughout history.

However, if you want to compete as an entrepreneur, you need to wake up.

To dominate your market, you need to be the most awake person available. You need to be the “go to guy”. And that requires a sometimes painful awareness level that keeps denial locked away in a closet.

There are many paths to full awareness… some are difficult and complex, others more like getting slapped upside the head and having an “a-ha!” experience.

Here’s a quick one: Stop resisting what’s happening.

Just that simple. In business, if the market is telling you it doesn’t want your product, stop throwing money into the project. Don’t get mad at your prospects for not realizing how great your stuff really is, don’t rail at the gods for torturing you, don’t try to twist reality with the power of your ability to fret and obsess.

Just realize that business and life is a maze, and you wandered down a blind alley. Stop, turn around, and go find another path.

People in deep denial find it tough to roll with the punches. Especially since most of the folks they know are acting in the same resistant manner. Remember that two of the three little Piggies were in denial about the abilities of the Wolf to huff, puff and set up his own Bubba’s Bar-B-Que.

Years ago, some friends of mine had their beautiful house burn down. They lived in a part of the country where this happened with regularity — canyons that acted like wind tunnels during wildfires, wildfires that erupted nearly every year.

Still, it is and always has been a stunningly-gorgeous place to live.

My friends reacted quite differently to the disaster. Both lost everything, including photos and other evidence of their life. For one, this was devastation almost beyond enduring… an event that rocked her world to the core.

I completely understand that reaction. If I were home during a fire, I’d probably try to save photos and mementos (right after the Missus and the dogs). I’ve never been without some of these things my entire life. Losing them would be jarring.

The other friend, however, reacted quite differently. He immediately referred to his lost accumlations as “just things”. Those which cannot be replaced are still committed to memory. And anything that can be replaced… was. Quickly.

They built a new house, on the same spot. It’s magnificent, and life goes on. They weren’t hurt, and their lives are filled with new evidence of living well.

I’ve been in both situations. I’ve suffered loss and crumpled under the weight. And, as I grew up and realized that loss would always be nearby, I began to look at events with stark realism.

I can tell you this: It’s a choice. You are not doomed to any particular way of handling trauma. You can learn to deal with it.

You can — if you choose — learn to wake up, and make decisions based on refusing to allow bad things to crush your spirit and ruin your life.

And when you start making proactive decisions… you become a “go to guy”. You become someone to be relied on. In life, you become the friend we all need. In business, you become the marketer we trust.

It’s not always comfortable seeing life as it is. You have to guard against becoming cynical, and you have to allow your heart to grow along with your awareness.

It’s not always comfortable… but it is invigorating.

Seize the day.

And stay frosty.

John Carlton
www.marketingrebel.com

March

For those of you keeping score, I did not offer a seminar this year.

I lectured at four or five seminars put on by other people… but there’s a huge difference between what I can do with a typical 90-minute slot at a crowded event… and what I have accomplished in the two past seminars I put on all by my lonesome.

When I hold a seminar, it’s just me and the audience, for two or three days. No other speakers, zero product pitching, no distractions at all.

Just hard-core teaching. The kind of hands-on, in-your-face, explosive-learning-curve teaching that can change your life.

I like to roll up my sleeves and get to work. The first event I held was the Copywriting Sweatshop, and I tore into the copy of every attendee, personally and in front of everybody. At the second event, The License To Steal seminar, I showed everyone exactly how to take proven ads and letters… and quickly turn them into your own vicious profit-makers.

Sometimes, it’s all about the shortcuts.

That’s been it, however. I’ve offered my courses and critiques and other materials for almost five years now… and there are just those two seminars.

And because I did so much personal work with each attendee, I was forced to severely limit the number of people who got in. I turned down a number of people who thought they could bribe their way in after the last seat was sold. Turning them down was necessary, but it was also good practice.

You know you’re in the groove when you can say “no” to someone waving thousands of dollars in your face without even considering caving in.

And, as much as I enjoyed the look of astonishment on their faces — you’d be surprised how often people actually get (and expect) special treatment just by throwing money around — it was simply a matter of limitations. If I were just yapping away about theory and concepts and bullshit like that, I could let everyone in who wanted a seat.

But that’s not what I do.

There’s a place for lecturing and theory and stroking the dreams of avarice… but there’s also a need for real meat. And there’s precious little of that at most events.

So I try to fill the gaps. I don’t want passive attendees. I like to make you sweat, and even work a bit — it’s the only way to actually learn, and the best way to retain new skills.

By doing. Not just listening and twiddlig your thumbs.

Anyway, after a full year off, I’m getting itchy again to hold another brutal learning seminar. There’s no thrill on earth like watching raw rookies finally have that “a-ha!” experience that opens up the vaults for them… or like watching the smug grin fade on the know-it-alls when they finally realize they’ve been cheating themselves all along, and (a-ha, again) they can start to taste the fortune waiting for them when they get back to the office and put what they’ve discovered to work.

That’s what makes teaching such a kick. The transformation from “whaaaa?” to “Ah, now I get it!”

I’m looking at March right now. Here in Reno. Won’t be cheap. Will be worth it.

I’m also already planning it out. Won’t be like anything else you’ve ever seen before. As generous as I am in revealing everything I know about writing killer advertising… and I defy you to find another teacher who shares as freely and deeply as I do… there’s still only so much I can do without locking eyes with you to make sure you “get” it.

Over the years, I’ve trained and mentored a vast parade of writers. But it’s ones who score a little personal time and targeted advice who do the best.

And I don’t have to tell you what being one of the “best” writers entitles you to, do I?

Let’s just say the wealth potential will buckle your knees.

The problem, of course, has always been getting that personal access. I simply do not have the time to mentor anyone one-on-one any more.

So that leaves these super-rare, “just me and you in a room” occasionaly seminars as the only time you’ll ever get this kind of “forced growth” attention.

I have no other details for you at this time. I cannot accept reservations yet, even.

Just consider this a shot across your bow. Early warning. It will sell out, fast. So, if you are at all inclined to even consider attending… don’t commit to anything else in March yet.

For the few who get in, it will launch the new year like a howitzer. No matter what other high tech gimmicks or tricks you use… your bottom line will always rest on your copy.

All-the-bells-and-whistles site, with bad copy… equals miserable results.

Basic, stripped-down site, with killer copy… equals massive sales, in any market.

Nothing happens until the copy gets written. All the techno-bling-whiz-bang available won’t do your selling for you. It takes copy.

And once you learn — really get-your-hands-dirty learn — the inside secrets of the best, the cash pipeline just bursts open.

Something to think about, don’t you think?

Stay frosty,

John Carlton
www.marketingrebel.com

The Veteran View

Okay, I’m not the young buck on the scene anymore.

No longer the smart-mouthed kid, or even the too-hip-to-live aging-well culture warrior.

I’m not even officially “middle aged”, unless I live to be 100.

I’m now… gasp… the grizzled veteran who’s not just seen it all… but maybe seen too much.

When the hell did that happen?

I was talking with one the true young bucks of the Web age today, a brilliant guy in his early thirties. Because of the timing of the Web’s maturation into a viable marketing vehicle, I get to talk to a LOT of people in their late twenties-to-mid-thirties these days. They were born at the right time.

Now, I can get along with almost anyone. My range of close, intimate friends goes from certified senior citizens all the way down to kids just getting started as adults. I’ve never put shallow age limits on who I call a friend — I rate the substantial stuff higher.

Still, when I’m talking with someone twenty years younger than I am about a joint venture to an online market… it’s just weird. I find myself wondering just what, exactly, I’m bringing to the table.

After all, they’re the Web-head techies. And they’ve studied marketing and advertising for years… most of them started early, at ages where I was still a wet-behind-the-ears party-hearty moron.

I guess the fact that it was sometimes my work they were studying brings a small bit of ironic balance to the scene.

So they’re sort of “going to the source”. I don’t enjoy being a “source” necessarily, since that reminds me how long ago it was I was a vibrant young rookie, ready to choose off the world with one hand tied behind my back.

But there you have it.

And, to be fair to myself (and all the other veterans out there still slugging it out on the advertising front lines)… I also bring the sometimes heavy hand of EXPERIENCE to every discussion.

Talent is a good thing.

But, push come to shove… honest experience can take you further. You gotta hone talent. With experience, all you gotta do is remember the lessons.

And believe me, there are lessons to be learned from every scrap of adventure that happens to you.

I’m a walking encyclopedia.

So… how would you like to hear a bit of insight from “The Voice o’ Experience”?

Here it is: A long, long time ago, I had my heart broken in two. I was right out of college, and everything I was and ever thought I’d be was tied up in a girl I’d been living with and loving for several years.

Things went south in a hurry and in a blur. If you need details, you’ll have to get me drunk… and you’ll need an hour to hear the short version.

If you’ve ever had your heart broken, you know the drill.

If you haven’t… count your blessings. And stop taking love for granted, you fathead. Most people plow through relationships just daring life to snarl back.

Trust me on this: The bite is worse than the bark.

The pain I felt is unlike anything else I had ever experienced, or ever would experience. My heart still pumped blood, but it felt ice-cold. There was an emptiness in my gut that radiated out to my toes… so I felt like a walking zombie, wading through a dream.

I really thought the pain would kill me. It was that intense.

When, a couple of years later, I realized I wasn’t gonna die from the heartbreak… I considered doing a Kurt Cobain. There were some truly grisly moments… but mostly I just descended into a lifestyle of debauchery and risk and flipping off Fate. Daring it to bring the axe down.

It was Existential City to the max. I kept journals that read like someone peering into Hell. I wrote poetry and songs that caused listeners to wince and ask me if I was all right.

I was cold. Lost. Alone. And clearly depressed.

It went on for almost two years. And after than, the ragged edges of my state-of-mind still weren’t quite right. I had nightmares for a decade, off and on.

And you know what?

Tonight, driving home from an errand, I heard a depressing love song from that time. (“What A Fool Believes”, by the Doobie Bros, if you must know.)

Music often lights up my memory banks to the point of physical sensations. I went right back to those damaged years, and remember viserally how I felt, the emptiness in my gut, the sense of hopeless loss.

And I smiled.

After a couple of decades of perspective, I no longer see that period of youthful grieving as a depressed mess.

In truth… between the mini-bouts of self-pity and loathing… I was still enjoying life back then. There was a twinge of sadness that hung over me like a bad odor — people often said I was the most brooding friend they had… and yet those same people, most of the time, were laughing with me during our adventures.

I smiled tonight… because I remembered not only the pain… but also the LIFE. That staggering joy of breathing deep and digging into the feast as best I could.

I ate big chunks of life back then. In retrospect, I wish I’d had an uncle like the “me” of today to offer guidance and reassurance and some decent frigging advice… but I wouldn’t BE “me” today without having travelled that long, grueling journey alone and clueless.

You’ll hear successful people speak ruefully of the best times of their lives being the struggle, and not the reward. It’s the years of working against adversity, risking it all, standing elbow-to-elbow with your comrades as the sparks fly that make you feel so wonderfully and urgently alive.

Somewhere along the line, I learned to enjoy the ride, despite the hurt and uncertainty. My time here on earth has been far from perfect, but I have been blessed. I don’t really believe in angels… but if there is one hovering over my shoulder, I’d like to publicly thank her for getting me through all those close calls.

I hope she doesn’t take it personal that I doubt she’s even there.

And here’s the main point: Dude, what I went through almost killed me. And yet, my only regret is that those times are gone.

If I live as long as some of my luckier relatives, I’ve maybe got 10,000 days left. It isn’t enough, but I’ll take ’em. Every single one, with all the hurt and grief that are sure to arrive with many of them.

If you’re young, and you’re wondering when the fun starts… stop wondering.

You’re in it. This is your movie, running right now.

Take a deep breath. Feel the machinery purring beneath your breastbone, and go outside, right after you log off, to feel the blush of autumn on your cheek.

Listen to some music, closely, before you go to bed.

Taste something sweet. Kiss someone sweeter.

Let me be a Voice of Experience for you, just this once. Whatever you’re going through will pass. Things will go good, and then bad. Good. Bad. Good, bad, good, bad…

And the roller coaster will just go on. Be happy you still have a role to play. Maybe there’s reason behind everything, maybe not. At the end of the day, it doesn’t much matter.

If you’re not having the grand adventure you desire, there are ways to put some new drama, comedy and tragedy in motion in your life. I can personally tell you a dozen ways to shake out the jams tonight.

But that’s advice for another time.

Right now, I’ve still got an ancient movie reel whirring in my head, starring a much younger, much sillier, and much more lost John than the one you currently have the pleasure of knowing.

I love the guy.

And I’m real happy he decided to hang around to see how Act Two developed.

Stay frosty, y’all.

John Carlton
www.marketingrebel.com

I’m Here…

Lovely blog software I’ve got here. If I don’t post for six days, it goes into a sulk and serves up a blank page.

That’s just rude.

So, I’m leaving a quick note here to let people know I’m not dead yet.

I also know that the notification for posts is not working for most of you, either. Mostly, I’m happy with this blog set-up, and I’ve got someone looking into a little online surgery to fix the annoying aspects.

It’s always something.

I’ll have a more substantial post here soon…

Stay frosty.

Love the weather here in Northern Nevada. Fall’s my favorite time of year — a sense of renewal just as strong as spring, but with a different urgency to it. I’ve always made the major changes in my life in autumn…

John Carlton
www.marketingrebel.com

Reminder

I’ll be on the horn with Armand Morin in just a few hours — 6 pm west coast time, tonight, Tuesday the 4th — talking about copywriting.

It’s a free call. If you’d like to eavesdrop, bop over to this link:
http://www.quicksales.com/app/aftrack.asp?afid=311096

Just leave your name and email, and you’ll be sent the relevant details. (I explained more about this call in the previous post.)

I’m already pacing the floor, getting prepared.

Snarl.

John Carlton
www.marketingrebel.com

My Cute Little Kitty Wants To Eat Your Canary

Have you ever watched a cat stalk birds?

I wasn’t raised on a farm, but I did grow up near one of the last edges of American civilization — specifically, a far-flung suburban outpost in pre-densely-populated Southern California, long before the tsumani of pavement washed in and covered up all the vineyards, orchards, and xeriscape foothills.

When the sun went down, it got real dark, cuz there weren’t any streetlights. And since it was a working class neighborhood, people crashed early. Late at night, the only sounds of man you could hear were the distant ka-chunk-ka-chunk and wail of trains.

And coyotes ate your pets if you left ’em out.

We weren’t exactly pioneers… but we were butted snug against an uncowered and unforgiving Nature.

So we learned a lot from animals. (Though I’m not so sure that watching the pained look on my dog’s face as he hopped around still attached by his Johnson to the bitch he’d just inseminated was the best way to learn about sex.) (Kinda explains some of my early adventures in the back seat of the Impala at the drive in, though… but that’s another story.)

Humans have lost most of our natural hunting instincts. We’re impatient, unskilled even with the opposing-thumb advantage, and easily grossed out. At least until we re-learn the Zen of stalking.

Watching cats go after Tweetie was a favorite past-time. (This was before X-box, you understand.)

If you’ve never seen the show, allow me to explain why it made such am impression: Fluffy sees bird, and immediately goes into kill mode. This is entirely different than any other mode she ever adopted. Playing with yarn, batting the cat-nip ball around, attacking an unsuspecting foot tapping out a beat to the radio… all these behaviors are clearly NOT total hunting mode.

You see that when you finally catch her getting serious.

She doesn’t tense up, and launch on the target, either. No. She zeroes in on it, and patiently goes to school on every move it makes. Knowing her own abilities, she judges distance, marks obstacles, gauges the awareness level of her prey.

No Attention Deficit going on here.

If she needs to get closer, it’s an almost imperceptible creep. Muscles will hold a pose frozen for long minutes to avoid detection.

Zen patience.

Finally, after digesting every scrap of available information… and unable to close the distance any further without detection… she pounces.

Every fiber of her being is focused on taking Tweetie down.

And if she misses… fine. She returns to her hidey-spot and waits for the next opportunity. Just a little more prepared this time. A little looser.

All grown up now, I still remember watching Fluffy work.

Because what I learned from her is still amazingly relevant in business.

Don’t scoff. Now that I’ve pointed it out to you, the concept of being a cat becomes obvious when you observe savvy, experienced businessmen operate.

It’s the opposite of the impatient, grabby rookie.

The veteran doesn’t rush into any opportunity. No way. He stalks it first.

Studies the market, the demographics, the competition. (Especially the competition.)

Even more relevant… he gauges his own skills against what is necessary to win. Fluffy could have caught Manfred the big lazy beagle much more easily than any bird in the neighborhood… but winning involved more than just catching the prey. Winning meant conquering.

Rookies come to me all the time, hopping up and down with excitement about getting into, oh, the diet market. They heard how much money can be made there, and they can’t wait to dive in.

Until, of course, they discover that while it’s easy to get into that swampy pool… it ain’t so easy to stay afloat. Lots of nasty federal agencies hiding in there, with big teeth and no mercy. Lots of vicious competitors unemcumbered with ethics or a sense of fair play.

You don’t know what you’re doing, you’re gonna get your lunch eaten.

The first advice I give rookies who are looking at a new market… is to simply study it first.

That’s what the pro’s do.

Study whatever you lust after like a cat.

Now, as a freelance copywriter, I have stalked so many different markets, I’ve lost track of them all. When I take on a new client, I don’t just sit down and knock off a brilliant ad. I need to get neck-deep in the details of the market first. Learn what makes the customers tick… what triggers their buying decisions… what the competition is up to (and what they’re doing better than my client).

After, oh, twenty-five years of getting hip to various markets, it’s no longer a big deal to me. All markets have certain things in common, and the differences are often very similar, too.

It’s kind of like being a major league pitcher. At first, you gotta study each new batter with all your might — you ask other pitchers and catchers what they know, you agonize over film, you gather and absorb as much info as possible.

And then, after a little experience, you realize you can shortcut the process a bit. Cuz there are only so many variables involved. Those variables look daunting to a rookie… but become familiar to the pro.

Eventually, you begin to “read” opposing batters with great skill, more easily.

You still ask around, you still watch the film… but you don’t need to agonize so much anymore. You’ve been there before.

You can’t get jaded about it, of course.

But you can — and need to — use the available shortcuts.

This never-ending process of learning and conquering so many different markets is what makes veteran copywriters such “total” marketers.

I’ve been exposed to every kind of marketing tactic and strategy there is. Seen some of ’em work like crazy, seen others crumble like a mud hut in a storm.

I’ve tried every angle of salesmanship, too. From the basic and fundamental forms of “just sell the damn thing”… to the advanced and psychologically-complex techniques that establish long-term relationships between seller and buyer.

And everything in between.

So… when you deal with a veteran freelance copywriter, you’re actually getting access to almost every aspect of business. Selling, yeah… but also positioning within a market, creating good product from scratch, finding new target audiences, avoiding pitfalls that swallow up rookies, and on and on.

Heck, I even have experience with hiring the right kind of people to staff your joint. I can look at your plans and tell you about the warehouse you’re gonna need to lease, the parade of employees who will pass through your scrolls, even how your life will look three months down the road.

I’m not psychic.

I’ve just been around the block a few times.

I like to think of my skills set as a Bag of Tricks. There are several bags within the main bag, too.

There’s a bag of marketing tricks. Strategies and plans I’ve tested out and seen others work, plus all the ways I know to reach prospects with a sales message (including the Web, direct mail, print ads, seminars, all of it). It’s a pretty impressive bag of goodies.

Then, there’s a smaller bag full of insight into running a business. Essentially, Operation MoneySuck at full tilt. I’ve worked closely with large corporations and small entrepreneurs… and each has their foibles and habits and ways of making it happen (and, too often, ways of making it not happen). Knowing this stuff can shortcut years of failure, and speed up success like crazy.

Then, there’s the bag of salesman’s tricks. This also is a very deep bag… because I’ve studied salesmanship like a groupie. And I’ve been lucky about finding “old school” mentors who know how to sell face-to-face as well as how to reach crowds with copy. Everyone has an Inner Salesman… but most of the time (even with experienced marketers) he’s fast asleep. Your first order of business, if you crave success, is to kick that bad boy awake and put him to work for you.

Finally, of course, is the big damn bag with all my copywriting skills. All the secrets and shortcuts and tested methods of delivering a world-class written sales pitch that have kept me at the top of the game for so long.

When I talk to you about business, I’m not pulling this stuff out of thin air.

I’m just reaching into my bag, and showing you what I KNOW to be true.

Copywriting is critical to the success of any business. Nothing happens until the copy gets written, in fact.

However… there’s copy… and then there’s pro-level copy, written by a veteran with a cat’s sense of stalking the prey. Taking it ALL in, every detail and nuance of your business and market… and delivering the most killer sales message possible straight into the tender emotional sweet-spot of your prospect.

You know — the sweet spot that’s connected to his wallet.

Anyway, if you’ve never heard me talk about this process in person… and you’d like to (cuz it’s the best way I’ve ever discovered to learn fast)… I’m about to deliver my last scheduled in-person speech for the forseeable future.

The event is The Big Seminar, Armand Morin’s amazing three-day blow-out focused entirely on selling online. My fellow speakers are a “Who’s Who” of Internet marketing, and I can guarantee you that when I’m not onstage, I’ll be in the audience taking serious notes.

If you’ve never heard of The Big Seminar, you need to get hip right now. It’s happening November 4, 5, and 6, so you need to act fast, too.

Here’s the first — and easiest — thing to do right now: I’m talking, on a free teleconference call, with Armand this Tuesday, October 4th, at 6 p.m. Pacific Time. (That’s 9 p.m. East Coast Time.)

I’ll be going over some of the things I want to cover at the seminar… including filling up your own Bag of Tricks. Should be a killer call, and if you’d like to listen in, it’s easy to do.

Just leave your email at this link:
http://www.quicksales.com/app/aftrack.asp?afid=311096

Armand will email you with the details of the call — the phone number, and your code that lets you listen in.

Do this even if you have no intention of attending any damn seminar, for any damn reason.

Why? Because… Armand is a MASTER at Internet marketing… and just experiencing how well he treats people through email, and moves along the process of creating and holding such a massive event… is an education in itself.

Watch this guy work. Be a cat. Show a little patience, and study how the very, very good do their thing.

It’s a free call. You’ll get an email or two urging you to attend the seminar… and again, even if you have not the slightest inclination to go, you need to see how the process happens.

Stalk this process. Have some fun with it. It’s one of the ways the smartest marketers online make a LOT of money.

And hey — you also get to enjoy listening to me rant on some very interesting — and profitable — subjects.

Again, you gotta hurry, though.

John Carlton
www.marketingrebel.com

What Is Information Worth?

We’re still in the Information Age, right?

I ask, because every time I blink, things change again. Pisses me off. I was born into the transition of the Industiral Age into the Atomic Age, was a teenager during Sixties, hung out in Silcon Valley while the Computer Age hit puberty… and through no fault of my own somehow wound up teaching people how to make the best use of the Information Age.

Whatever.

Grizzled old veterans like me are needed, because of all the confusion surrounding capitalism in this brave new world of nano-tech information exchange.

Hell, a blink now is an eon in terms of data flow.

So, what is information worth?

That’s the question I hear most often, in various plaintive forms, from entrepreneurs. How do you put a price on an idea?

I have a pretty good gut instinct for pricing almost any kind of product… but it’s hard to explain how a gut feeling works. I’ve just been in tune with so many markets and so many buyers over the years, I can get vibes from the zeitgeist and translate them into dollar amounts.

My friend Dan Kennedy is one of the few to figure out a simple formula to help the “vibe challenged”.

Let’s say you have a book that explains a concept. Like, oh, how to sue your neighbor when he’s a jerk. Not when he’s committing felonies like cooking speed in his bathtub or running hookers out of the garage… you know, things that objectively lower your property value. That’s too easy.

No, this imaginary book of yours explains how to nail him to the legal wall when he’s simply a blot on your happiness. Doesn’t mow the lawn, is loud and rude, has a dog that befouls your morning paper, whatever.

(Is there a book like this anywhere? If there is, I want it.)

Anyway, how would you figure out what is a publication like that was worth? No real competition to emulate, no similar products out there to compare.

If you were in a bar, and the guy on the next stool overheard you talking about your book and wanted it… how much would you tell him he had to shell out to get one?

I know what most rookies would charge. Ten bucks. They’d figure they could get it printed at Kinko’s for four, mail it for two… and make four big damn dollars on each sale.

Oh, wait, that’s old school.

New world math: It’s ten bucks for the download. No printing cost, no postage. You keep the sawbuck.

That’s fair, right?

I am forever having to whack rookies upside the head over this.

No, it’s not necessarily fair. Did you try asking for one hundred bucks first? Or fifty? Or a thousand dollars?

When I get hired to help entrepreneurs launch an information product, we spend a LOT of time going over the price. There are many factors to consider — for example, if you are using this book as a lead generation “loss leader”, you may want to give it away.

However, if you find out there’s an overlooked crowd out there just itching to sue their neighbor for being a jerk… the info you have to share may be worth beaucoup bucks. (That’s French, I believe, for “oodles”.)

So, at the very least, once you establish that you can generate traffic that results in sales… you need to test price.

I recently had an Insider send me his ideas for testing price. He had a “good, better, best” menu he wanted to try out. I swear I am not making this up: $1,233… versus $1,333… versus $1,433.

That is NOT the way to do it.

Here’s one way to do it: Figure out a price that “seems” fair. Then, lowball that figure to the point where you feel you’re giving it away. Then, jack up the price until you’re almost embarrassed to be getting so much for what you offer.

An example: $19.99… $69.99… and $99.99. A good spread.

Until you test, you will never know whether the guy who eagerly bought what you have for $69… wouldn’t just as eagerly have parted with $99.99.

Or more.

Or, that your product that’s breaking your bank at $69… wouldn’t put you on the Forbes 500 list at $19.

My clients, however, are most often astonished at how high they can go. One of them sold information for years at $49… until I shamed him into testing $69. Then $99. No change in response rates.

Same number of people bought. More money came in.

That means the “value” of the info, in the eyes of the market, was much higher than what the seller of the info ever dared to dream.

Gulp. They were leaving twenty bucks on the table, just by never testing $69.

And once they got over that shock, they discovered they were actually leaving FIFTY bucks on the table with each sale. For YEARS.

I could see the ulcers start to form as they grimaced, thinking of the fortunes left uncollected in their market.

Hey — at least they fixed it when they did. Without intervention, they’d still be happily giving the stuff away for half of it’s “worth”.

Back to Dan Kennedy: It’s not often another marketer shocks me… but Dan did.

He said: “Well, did you have them try $199? Or $499? Or nine hundred and ninety-nine dollars?”

Uh… no, I didn’t.

So I went back, and had them test $199. It didn’t pull well. But I didn’t give up — after all, the market had sort of been “trained” not to highly value this type of info before.

So I wrote better copy. I gave a REASON why it was worth so much more now. We pumped up the value with more reports, more tapes and discs and stuff. Turned it into a big old box of infomation, all aimed straight at the heart of the market.

And we discovered that — sold correctly — we could get as high as $399. It was a bigger, bulkier and more involved product… but still just information. At the end of the day, we were still just telling them things they didn’t know yet.

Dan reminded me to never let a client set the ceiling on prices.

No, no, no.

You let the market tell you what the most they’ll pay is.

For years, Dan has doubled… and then doubled again… his fees and prices.

And, at each amount, he (and his stuff) was worth it. Maybe he couldn’t have jumped directly from his earliest fees to what he’s charging now. Maybe you need to bring the market along slowly, in increments.

But maybe not. I was hanging around Jay Abraham’s office back when the MOST anyone had paid for a marketing seminar was $399. And you had your hotel room picked up, all your meals paid for… and the seminar lasted five days.

Whew.

Jay was having none of that. His first seminar lasted just over one day… you had to pick up all your own expenses… and he charged five grand for the privilege of attending. You were guaranteed a chair in the room. That was it.

And you know what? Jay made you understand why this was still the biggest damn bargain in business. His copy gave you all the reason you would ever need to explain to your spouse and business partner why you were shelling out this fortune to attend a seminar.

Audacious minds like Jay and Dan are a national treasure. Especially for entrepreneurs and anyone else who is trying their hand at earning a living outside the “normal” corporate womb.

One of my very favorite Scuttlebutt tapes was the recorded conversation I had with Dan Kennedy a few years back. (Scuttlebutt Number 5: “The Secrets To Success That Scare Most People Half To Death.”) I don’t get to talk to Dan near as often I like. Lunch with Dan is a riotous affair… and I learn something new every time between laughs.

This guy understands the concept of “what the market will bear” better than anyone.

I’ll bet you’re already tuned into Dan’s world, in fact.

However, you may not know that he’s doing a brand spanking new teleseminar on making money as a copywriter next week. Lorrie Morgan-Ferrero — one of my Insiders and good copywriter on her own — has arranged for Dan to spill his guts on how to coerce clients to cough up the cash. (How’s that for alliteration?)

Copywriters have a helluva time figuring out what to charge for their services these days. Because skill at writing copy is really just another form of information — as the writer, you take an ephemeral sales pitch and create copy that persuades.

You take information… and make it manifest.

The top guys all get outrageous fees backloaded with royalty arrangements… but how do you GET to that stage?

You can actually watch copywriters slash each other’s wrists on www.elance.com — it’s great fun — by underbidding everyone else until the job gets awarded for spare change. (I would not be surprised to learn of copywriters offering to pay the client to do the work at some point.)

That’s just crazy.

Again, my own course on Freelance Copywriting covers this. (There are only three sections: Get good, get connected, and get paid.) You can check it out by hitting the link to the right up there.

But why not check out what Dan has to say, too? This is a guy I’ve respected and learned from for almost twenty years now (since we first met at one of Gary Halbert’s notorious Key West “Hot Seat” seminars) ($7,000 to put your butt in a seat). I was sort of co-producing the event, and Dan was the anonymous last speaker of the night.

It’s the only time I’ve actually felt my jaw drop.

This is a guy who knows what he’s talking about.

Anyway, you can check it out for free. He’s doing a no-cost “preview” of the teleseminar (which will cost you if you sign onboard) very soon now. You gotta hurry. Lorrie is gonna grill him about the specifics — the preview will be an experience not to be missed by anyone who’s serious about this subject.

It’s a free look, she’s told me, to show you what the teleseminar is really “worth”. Smart. And a gift to you — free info is getting kinda rare these days.

To see what the fuss is about, bop on over to http://www.kickstartcart.com/app/aftrack.asp?afid=294905&u=red-hot-copy.com/dk.htm

Find out what Dan has to say about the price of your skill.

John Carlton
www.marketingrebel.com